Ah, Nu Zillind, how I adore you. I was born in you. Bred in you. I couldn’t even bear to leave you for an O.E. You’re in my heart Nu Zillind. You’re in my soul. You’ve given we Nu Zillinders, both those that were born here and those that have chosen to reside here, a whole lot that makes us a little bit more special (in my entirely unhumble opinion) than the rest of the world. Quirks and beliefs, thoughts and feelings that only we as a nation can understand.
So how do you know when you’re reached peak Kiwiness?
1. You’ve spent your summer barefoot and could walk on a gravel driveway or craggy rocks at the beach without batting an eyelid.
2. When you hear someone say pavlova is an Aussie invention you consider whipping up a pav, waiting for it to cool down, creaming it, adding bananas or kiwifruit on top, and then hunting them down and shoving it in their ill-informed face.
3. You’ve hung your head in despair when an overseas makeup brand releases something amazing, and you discover no one stocks it here.
4. You can ‘yeah, nah’ it for a good two minutes before committing to an answer or decision.
5. If you’re eating sausage rolls and someone breaks out the sauce, and it’s not Watties, they’re dead to you.
6. When you’re in any other part of the world and you ask where the dairy is people look at you kinda strange.
7. Oh, and when you’ve been overseas you’ve had to endure people asking you to say fish n chips, and six vs. sex for an entire taxi trip. (True story, didn’t even get a discount on arrival, cheeky bugger.)
8. Dip is made from reduced cream and Maggi Onion Mix – and that’s it. Anything else is just a pretender to the throne.
9. At some point in your life your parents stuffed you in the car for a bit of tiki tour, which left you hot, bothered and bored, but it meant they didn’t have to do any parenting for an hour or so... and you fully intend to do the same to your kids one day too.
10. When you watch YouTubers eat Kiwi lollies and complain about them you immediately dismiss them as idiots who don’t know anything anyway so whatever.
There’s more. I know there’s more. But we want to hear your thoughts… so go on, you know you’re a Kiwi when….
And the really cool thing about New Zealand? Our fabulous beauty brands. How about $300 worth for a lot less, delivered?